Our Own Hurt Us the Most

this report is very much about the lives of the queer and trans persons whose rights will be debated not just in the Supreme Court, but all around us, in the media, on the streets, in houses and where you have. The voice of the State has already become clear in the invocation of sanskar, sacrament, and such like in the defense of the cis and heterosexual marriage and family. There is a slew of voices all around defending the existing structures of families and opposing the right of not just queer and trans persons, but also inter-religious and inter-caste heterosexual couples to live as they desire.

This moment therefore, is as much about families, and not just about marriage. While the focus is on the demand for marriage equality for queer and trans folx, the legitimacy given to assigned families is as much under question. Chosen families and intimacies cannot be thought of without also looking at the reality of what assigned families do to their queer and trans children.

The families that are supposed to be spaces of nurture, care and support, turn against their own children (often at very young ages), treat them with utter disregard and violence, and force them to conform to socially accepted ideas of what is “normal” without any regard to the individual’s dignity or personhood. Stigma and violence run deep within the space of these families that are assigned to us at birth (or adoption).